sometimes you have no idea what you’re pulling on until it pops and the insides come out clear. contact with the points of pain. these are the moments when i know i’m healing something. “why does it hurt here? / what am i hiding from myself?” today that meant facing the fact that the people who were supposed to teach me love were also the people who tried for my death. the freedom of finding a simple sentence to name a decades worth of emotion. so it cracks.
i smile when i come in contact with my points of pressure and when my mind begins to burn because it means space is clearing for something new to grow. so i can put myself to bed. so i can wake up early to put in the final nail. so i can take an easel i made myself out of a thought, a painting i started weeks ago, and my camera to document the moment. and so i can teach myself how to love.